The Clocks In Heaven Foretell Presidential Trustworthiness

The Clocks In Heaven Foretell Presidential Trustworthiness

by Evan Augustine Peterson III, J.D., October 27, 2004

An American died and went to Heaven on November 1st, just one day before the USA's presidential election. As he stood beside St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all of those clocks for?

With a fisherman's characteristic bluntness, St. Peter answered: "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, its hands will move."

"Really!", said the American. "Then whose clock is that?"

"That was Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. She's with us now, but we still keep it here to show people that honesty is possible."

"Incredible!", said the American. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded: "That's Senator John Forbes Kerry's clock. The hands have moved thrice, telling us that John has told only three lies in his entire life."

"Then ... where's President George W. Bush's clock?", asked the American.

St. Peter answered with a sigh: "George W's clock is in Jesus Christ's office. Right now, He's using it as a ceiling fan. But when George gets here, he'll be taking it with him. Where he's headed, he'll be in perpetual need of it

[1] Read Arianna Huffington's excellent 10-27-04 AO column, "Faith Abuse: When God Becomes A Campaign Ploy," at:
http://ariannaonline.com/columns/column.php?id=740

[2] Read Karen Horst Cobb's spiritually-discerning 10-25-04 essay, "No Longer A Christian (But Still A Disciple)," at: http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1025-25.htm

[3] Read Texan Molly Ivins' insightful 10-26-04 WFC essay, "Clueless People Love Bush: Studies Show Bush Supporters Are Misled On Bush Policies And The News," at: http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=17962

[4] Leading conservatives are saying that Mr. Bush has misled America economically, as in Pete Peterson's 10-26-04 MJ interview "We've Lost Our Moorings," at:
http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2004/10/10_208.html

[5] Read the author's brief-but-illustrative 10-25-04 CFTM essay about Mr. Bush's tax-cut abuses, "A Little Patriotic Sacrifice For The Benefit Of The Wealthy Few," at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/coalitionforfreethoughtinmedia/message/23586

[6] Watch Mark Fiore's brilliant 10-13-04 animation, the Orwellian-yet-strangely-familiar "OppositeLand," at: http://www.markfiore.com/animation/opposite.html

[7] By the way, "Clocks In Heaven..." is based on an old joke, the moral of which is that Heaven's clocks never lie about a person's character, so Americans who want a trustworthy president should vote for John Kerry on November 2nd!